Chapter 19

"Wake up!" My mother's voice awoke me from my deep sleep. I'd spent the night texting with Min Ki and I was so glad I'd begged my father to let me get the plan with unlimited texting otherwise, I'd have had a lot of explaining to do.

We'd begun to text a lot because it made it easier for us to communicate in real time because regardless of where he was; be it class, work or at home, he could stay it touch.

In my opinion, our relationship was still solid even though it was completely different. Being in a long distance relationship took far more effort than I'd ever realized. Back when we were together, it was more natural. It was pretty much just about us being together and neither of us trying to really prove anything to the other. I liked him, he liked me and we liked being together. And that was it.

But now, it was more like I actually had to put some effort into maintaining the relationship. Even though we were apart, we still wanted to feel like we were together so I tried to tell him everything that was going on in my life and he did the same. It was kind of annoying, hearing him ask questions that would otherwise have been obvious if he lived around me or trying my best to remember everything so that I could share it with him. But it was important because that was all we really had. I couldn't touch or feel him and we didn't have any visits to look forward to. All we had were ourselves and our words so we were clinging to them. The main downside was it meant that I had to be more careful with what I said especially on IM or via email just to make sure he didn't misunderstand me. He couldn't see my face to tell that I was only joking or be in my space to really understand my mood. And even when we video conferenced, the problem still existed. I really missed who we were together and thinking that we had to endure this for a few years didn't help matters.

From all the historical movies, one would have thought that writing letters would have been very romantic but maybe the use to technology had de-romanticized it a little. I didn't write by hand so I couldn't spray perfume on the paper and write SWALK on the envelope flap to show that I was sealing it with a loving kiss.

And I didn't experience the excitement of checking my mailbox hoping to receive a letter from him because we only wrote via email. I tried not to dwell on the difficulties because at the end of the day, I still had him.

"Are you up yet?" my mother asked, hitting my bedroom door. I groaned and just as I was about to open my eyes, I felt a weird pain in my eye lids and when I tried to moved them, they felt gummy. I eventually opened my eyes then tried to blink rapidly because in addition to the pain, I could also feel grains of Gods-knows-what in them. I jumped out of my bed and ran to the bathroom to get a closer look.

I looked at my reflection and other than the dry crust at the side of my eyes, they were swollen and red. What was going on? How in the world did a person go to bed normal only to wake up looking like an amateur boxer?



***



My mother gently touched the swollen bags under my eyes with a gloved hand. If I wasn't in pain, I would have been a bit annoyed that instead of her panicking like any normal mother would, she seemed excited to be practicing a bit of medicine.

She's brought out all her instruments – stethoscope, the blood pressure thing (otherwise known as a sphygmomanometer), thermometer and pretty much every single thing I didn't even know she'd brought with her. The only thing missing was the doctor's coat and I was glad that she'd managed to keep herself from putting it on.

She dropped her hand and sighed heavily. "What have you been doing with yourself?"

"Meaning?" I asked as I scratched my eye.

"Aren't you a little too old to get conjunctivitis? Have you been playing with dust or mold?"

I shook my head. Ryan's basement wasn't as ventilated as it could be but it wasn't particularly dusty or moldy.

"Well," she said, "I don't think you have to go to the doctor. I'll go and pick some things from the pharmacy but if you don't feel better in a few days, I'll take you so we can get something stronger."



***



I sat across from my mother as we ate breakfast. I watched her read the paper and as she sat there, I only just realized that she looked a bit different from how she did when we'd first arrived in America. Her hair had grown about two inches and she'd gained a few pounds. And even her personality had changed a bit – she was a lot quieter and more pensive than she used to be. The change had begun while we were still in Seoul but was now more pronounced. I felt a pang in my chest and realized that even though we were sitting a few inches from each other, I missed her.

With that feeling, I adjusted my sunglasses before reaching out for the carton of orange juice.

"Wait!" she yelled to stop me. "Did you just touch your eye?"

I groaned. "No. I touched the glasses." The glasses she'd forced me to wear. The glasses that were supposed to protect the rest of my family from my germs.

"But they are on eyes and your eyes are infected. Hold out your glass so I can pour it for you," she said as she took possession of the carton. "You know that you should be careful with what you touch."

As the only mother I had, I couldn't help but love her… but boy was she getting on my last nerves! I knew that Pink Eye, as it was called in The States, was contagious but she was acting like I was some kind of leper. My eyes were itchy and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't help but touch them so she didn't let me touch anything else. I thought she was going to force me to only use a certain set of silverware and confine me to my room but luckily, she hadn't.

The only good thing that came from my illness was seeing how my mother lived on a daily basis. Leaving Seoul meant that she also had to leave her friends, so unlike other housewives, after doing all the chores, she really didn't have any friends to call or visit. And since my brother and I were older and fending for ourselves in some capacity, it meant that she led a pretty lonely life. Making friends was hard enough attending a school with hundred of kids so I couldn't even begin to imagine how hard it was for her.

So after watching The View and going online to read all her emails and do some work, she really didn't have anything else to do.

"Umma," I said, lifting my head up to look at her. I'd gotten pretty used to the shades and my eyes had adjusted quite well to the dimness. "I think it's a good idea for you to get your license."

She looked at me with unsure eyes as if she didn't know if she could believe me. "Do you really think so?"

I nodded. After spending all those years in medical school and raising us while working, she really did deserve to live her life as she wished.

"And what your father said—"

"Forget about him," I said, waving dismissively. "Do what you want. I am sure Dong Won oppa also supports you."

"That's not what I mean. What he said about me depriving him of your love…"

What? I had to cover my mouth to keep my cereal in. I hit my chest to keep from choking. Depriving who of what?

"… part of it was my fault. I should have done things differently."

I shook my head. "Umma, you did the best you could. Would Oppa even know how to boil water if you hadn't made us make dinner? Would I even know how to iron if you hadn't made us? What about mowing the lawn?" I sprouted off things that she'd made us do because there was only one adult at home. "And if you hadn't made us learn English all those years, it would have been so much more difficult to move here."

As she listened, I noticed that her lips moved into a small smile.

I couldn't tell if anything I'd said had really stuck with her but I was glad to improve her mood even if it was only temporarily.

She was about to put her hand on mine then hesitated as if she'd suddenly remembered that I was a huge mass of bacteria. Then she smiled and put it anyway. "So you don't blame me for how your father acts these days?"

I shook my head. "No."

"He wasn't always like this, you know."

"I don't know. But I don't blame you."

"And if you did, would you admit to it?" she asked, raising her right eyebrow skeptically.

I laughed as I scooped some milk from my bowl. I shook my head. "I wouldn't but I really don't blame you. I love you."

She smiled then kissed my conjunctivitis-ed face. I dropped my spoon then wrapped my arms around her neck and hugged her tightly. Umma, I miss you.



***



"Yo Ryan, go downstairs and get us something to drink," Ali ordered the moment she stepped into my bedroom.

"Do I look like your slave?" he asked, walking in after her.

She dumped her bag on my bed then turned around dramatically. "Don't be an ass – just go so that we can have some girl talk."

"Meaning gossip?" he asked, throwing his bag next to the computer chair I was sitting on. "Want to tell her about the hot, new guy you met at the mall or something as equally retarded?"

"Hello," I said, waving at them. "Remember me?" I pointed to myself. It was their first visit to my house and I wished it had been on better circumstances. After introducing themselves to my mother, they'd come to my room. "I'm the girl you came to see. You know, the sick girl."

"Your room looks exactly as I imagined," she said before sitting on my bed. Then she eyed me up and down. "You look pretty healthy to me. Faking an illness to skip school is so third grade." She looked at her chipped nail polish on her fingernails. "Gosh, I need a manicure. And," she said, pointing at my sunglasses, "why are you wearing shades in the house? Who do you think you are? J.Lo?"

I hissed then turned to Ryan who was standing next to me. "Hey, you can sit over there," I said, pointing at the bed.

He glanced at it then back to me. "In a sec. I might as well get something for you to drink. What should I get and will your Mom be fine with it?"

After sorting out our drink orders, he walked out of the room. Ali got off the bed and shut the door. Then she walked over to me and whispered. "Okay, spill."

Huh? I looked up at her. "What are you talking about?"

"You and Ryan," she said, rubbing her hands together gleefully. "You guys made out on campus," she said jumping up and down excitedly.

I made circles with my forefinger to gesture that she was crazy. "Have you lost your mind?"

"Come on, you can tell me," she whispered conspiratorily.

"What are you talking about?"

She looked at me unsurely then reached into her pocket and pulled out a crumbled up sheet of paper. Then she did her best to straighten it out before handing it out to me.

I took it from her and read it:



It's déjà vu time, y'all. I bet poor, little Jonathan can't believe it's happening again. He goes after the new girl and who does she end up with? You guessed it, people: Ryan Cho! The rumor is that after school hours, instead of going home like the rest of us do, they stay behind to make out. Isn't that romantic? Good luck to Suyan.



My eyes widened in horror. "What the hell?" I shrieked, re-reading the note. When I was done, I threw it on the bed.

"You tell me. I managed to rip that off before most of the school got the chance to see it but what's up with that?"

I shook my head in confusion. "I honestly don't know what's going on." I hissed when I realized what the blind gossip had seen and explained the hug to her. "I bet it was that stupid Nancy who wrote this. Argh!" I said, punching my palm. I hit myself a bit too hard so I tried to shake the pain away.

I shook my head in disgust. "Some people at that school are retarded." Then something came to mind. "But who did Ryan steal from Jonathan?"

She shook her head dismissively. "It's just a b.s. rumor. As you said, stupid school," she said before ripping the sheet of paper in two.

Shortly after, Ryan brought the drinks in and since my mind was still preoccupied with the stupid rumor, I barely spoke.

"You're just a barrel of laughs," he commented after a few minutes of silence. He'd brought some notes for me and was arranging them on the bed.

I shrugged and looked at his face and inevitably, my eyes settled on his lips. Me kissing him? Eww. If I were the least bit attracted to him, I might have noticed how full his lower lip looked when he scowled but it was just plain ridiculous. Me kissing Ryan? And now I had to go back to school knowing some people really thought it happened.

"You really don't look sick," he said, getting off the bed and walking up to me. I stopped him as he reached for my glasses.

"Don't touch." I pushed his hand away. "And you'd better go and wash your hands now that I've touched you. You don't want to get this crap. Trust me, it sucks."

He ignored me and took my glasses off anyway.

"Ryan, are you stupid? Do you want Pink Eye too?" Ali asked from behind him.

He frowned. "Don't worry about me." He moved closer and studied my face. "You don't look so bad. Your eyes look pretty clear. Are you sure you're still sick?" he asked with a smirk.

I shut my eyes and looked away. "I almost better but I'm still contagious."

"Don't worry, I'm Super Ryan," he joked lamely. "My antibodies are supersonic and stupendous. Alien, even." He laughed as he put my glasses back on my face and as he did, his finger brushed by my cheek and seemed to linger on for a few seconds longer than they should have.





***



I dropped my tray and sat next to Ali. I'd only been away for a week but I was really glad to be back at school. You never really appreciated what you had till it was gone. "Where's your friend, Ryan? I haven't seen him today."

"Oh, he's home sick."

My brows knitted. "What's wrong with him?"

"Pink Eye," she deadpanned. I waited for her expression to change but it didn't. He really did have Pink Eye.

I burst out laughing then grabbed my phone to text him. What happened to being super?