Chapter 23

We knew it was my father's first day home so after school, my brother and I walked in with trepidation. I heard the sounds of the clanging of pots coming out of the kitchen so I rushed to the stairs so that I could avoid talking to him.

"Yah! Do you want to get into trouble?" my brother yelled, grabbing the back of my winter coat and pulling me down. "You'd better get in there and greet him."

I slapped his hand off me. "Does that mean you should drag me like that? Do you want to kill me?" I whispered. "And you'd better watch how you treat me or else I am going to tell your father what you were doing with Seung Mi when he wasn't around," I said, immediately developing a bad taste in my mouth as I remembered that day.

"Tell him what? What did you see? Where's your proof? And will you tell him what you were doing during these alleged activities?"

I followed him into the kitchen and nearly crashed into his back when he abruptly stopped.

"Why did you—" My mouth flung open when I saw the cause of my brother's actions. My father was wearing an apron and humming to himself as he brought out cooking ingredients from the cupboards.

"Oh, you're here?" he said when he noticed us. He looked from Dong Won to me then smiled. "You are looking well. Since your mother is not here, why don't we cook together? I'm thinking of fried rice and chicken. Does that sound okay to you?"

My mouth was still ajar when I looked at my brother who appeared to be frozen in that spot. I turned back to my father and nodded. I couldn't even muster the energy to put it in words. My father wanted to cook with us? Porqué?

He dumped an onion on a chopping board and said, "Su Jin ah, you're in charge of the onions and Dong Won, you're the king of peppers." He picked up one of the skinless chicken breasts he'd put in a bowl. "I still haven't decided on what kind of chicken to make. Any suggestions?"

Neither of us said anything and when the silence began to become more pronounced, my brother told him that anything was good.

We were still standing there not knowing what to do when my father looked up from this chicken and mock-frowned. "Why are you still here? Drop your things then come back and help me with dinner."



***

My father's puzzling change in behavior remained for days following his return and that made us very nervous. Was it a phase? Was he on drugs? The trying-to-be-nice thing wasn't new but what was up with cooking together? We knew that it was only a matter of time before he began to bark at us again so in order to avoid any drama, we were very polite and obedient and tried our best to stay out of his way. So when the day I was to leave for my trip finally arrived, I didn't know what to do.

Since my brother was an ass and refused to let wake up in the middle of the night and sneak my suitcase into the trunk of his car, I had no choice but to risk being caught. It sucked that I had to depend on him and was already devising ways to convince my mother to get me a car for my birthday. So that morning, I woke up early and placed my suitcase in the coat closet downstairs. I planned on leaving for school without telling him and saddling my brother with the responsibility of explaining to him why I didn't return home later that day.

I looked at the clock and then at the stairs. Any minute now, Dong Won would run down the stairs in his pajamas and ask me to leave with him. Since my brother's first class was at noon, he'd be returning home after dropping me off and since our group was leaving for the airport before closing hours, I couldn't get him to drop my luggage off later.

"Abonim, aren't you going to work?" I asked, glancing at his still full bowl of cornflakes.

He looked from behind his paper and shook his head. "I'm going in a little late today."

"Yah! Let's go now," my brother bellowed as he skipped down the stairs. He grabbed his coat from the closet and pulled out my suitcase. "Hurry up, let's go."

I glanced at my father and when I saw that he was still reading his paper, I rushed to my brother, grabbed my suitcase and headed for the door.

"Su Jin ah! What's that in your hand?" my father asked the minute I stretched my hand for the door handle.

I froze. I was caught. And about to be skinned alive.

"Oh Su Jin, what's in your hand?"

I slowly turned around and even more slowly looked at him. I was expecting to see rage on his face but all I saw was confusion. "It's my suitcase," I said in a shaky voice.

"I can see that. But where are you going to?"

His calmness was freaking me out and my heartbeats became faster. "The Junior-Senior Winter trip."

"The what?" he asked in disbelief. "And when were you going to tell me about it? Where is it?"

"It's in Los Angeles."

"In Los Angeles?" he repeated incredulously. "You were going to Los Angeles without telling anyone?"

"We thought you knew. Umma signed the consent form and paid," my brother said, coming to my defense.

I squeezed my brother's hand, thanking him for his support.

I watched my father's adam apple travel up and down a few times as he glared at us.

Since it looked like he wasn't saying anything else, my brother turned and opened the door. "Su Jin, let's leave now if you don't want to be late for school," he said firmly.

Since I seemed to have lost all control of my legs, my brother grabbed my elbow and pulled me out with him. As we walked to his car he said, "You'd better have as much fun as possible because you know you'll be suffering when you return."



***



"I'm still confused as to how I got this seat," Ali asked with her hands on the arms of her seat. The plane was still being boarded so we were talking and people watching. She rubbed her palms together. "Su Jin, please switch seats with me," she begged.

"Don't do it," Ryan said from the other side of her. "She wouldn't do it if she were in your place."

"Ali, is that true?" I asked, looking at her pointedly. "If you were in my seat, would you give it up for me?"

"Of course!" she said earnestly.

"Really? Why?"

She looked at me like I'd asked the most stupid question in the world. "Because you're my sister from another mother. Of course I'll give up my seat for you."

I leaned forward to look at Ryan. "She says she'll give it up for me."

Before he could reply, he was interrupted by a tall dark-haired, square-jawed guy in black, wire-rimmed glasses. "Excuse me, I think you're in my seat," he said to Ryan, looking at his boarding pass stub.

"Okay girls, looks like it's time for me to leave," Ryan said, getting up and walking to his assigned seat. While Ali and I were seated on the 14th row, he was on the 22nd.

"Do you still want to switch seats? Ali!" I called but instead of responding, she was smiling at the guy putting his luggage in the overhead compartment. And she was still staring at him as he sat down and fastened his seatbelt. Then she leaned to me and whispered. "Isn't he a hottie?"

"What about Kamal?" I whispered back.

"He thinks I'm 19 so it doesn't count. I think this one is a senior." She turned and waved at him. "Hi."

He looked up from the inflight magazine he'd just picked up and waved back. "Hi."

"I'm Ali and this is Su Jin."

"Cool. I'm James."

She leaned to me and whispered. "James, huh? Doesn't he sound smart?"

Smart? It wasn't like his name was Edgar. I tut-tutted at her then reached for my own copy of the inflight magazine.

"I wonder who Ryan is sitting with," she said raising her body and turning around. "Oh my God!" she exclaimed.

I quickly turned to look. He was sitting next to an average-looking red head and reading the safety instructions. There didn't look like there was cause for alarm. "What?" I whispered.

She turned around and sat back in her seat so I did the same.

"That's Holly Levingston," she said, fastening her seatbelt. "She's like the biggest slut in the senior class."

I glanced back for another look. She didn't look sluttish at all – in fact, she looked quite conservative in her denim jacket and long bangs. "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "And," she said chuckling to herself, "I bet she's going to take a stab at Ryan."

It suddenly felt like there was something in my eye so I blinked rapidly to try to get it out.


"Are you okay?" she asked.

I nodded and rubbed the corner of my eye to stabilize it. "Back to Holly… even if she's a slut," I said, hesitating at the word. I never liked the sound of it. "… even if it's true, why would she be interested in a junior?"

"Because she's Holly Levingston and doesn't have any boundaries. I can bet you $5 that Ryan is going to use some condoms this week."



***



Twenty minutes into the flight, Ali had completely stopped talking to me and was only talking to James. He was a senior who'd already been accepted at MIT and apparently, he and Ali shared a love for classical music. It was a good thing Bach and Mozart were household names otherwise, she wouldn't have known what to say when he asked her to list her favorite composers.

I didn't want to shell out any money to buy ear phones to watch the movie playing and for some reason, I just couldn't find anything interesting to watch on my personal video player. As I tried to tune out Ali's giggling, all I could do was think of was what she'd said earlier. Ryan would get to use condoms this week? The idea of that was disturbing for numerous reasons, least of all that as far as I knew, he barely knew a thing about the girl he was sitting next to. I'd always thought of him as someone with pride and integrity so surely, he would reject her advances, wouldn't he? But on the other hand, Ali had known him for much longer than I had and if she thought that it was possible, maybe she was right. And that made me feel so disappointed in him. But then a thought occurred to me; maybe he was completely unaware of her reputation. Wouldn't it be awful for him to fall for her only to later find out that he was simply one of long list of conquests? There was no way he wouldn't end up crushed and as a friend, I wanted to prevent that.

"Do you have a bladder problem? Or constipation?" Ali asked about two hours later.

"Why?" I stood up and dropped the airplane blanket on the seat.

"What did you eat today? It looks like it's the fourth time you've gotten up to use the toilet."

"Why are you paying some much attention to how many times I'm getting up? Shouldn't you be flirting with your newest boyfriend?" I snapped.

She gave me a look. "What's your problem?" she called as I walked away.

It would have been great if I could just raise my head, turn around and look at row 22 but since it was dark, I had to make the journey down there. I wasn't snooping – I was just looking out for a friend. I didn't know what I'd planned to do when I got to his seat but I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.

As in the three previous times I'd walked down that aisle, I slowed down as I approached Ryan's row. The first time I passed had been great because he was reading the inflight magazine while she was reading a novel. The second time had been far less pleasant because it looked like she'd purchased earphones to use for the inflight entertainment and for some reason, they'd found this interesting to talk about. They were both holding it and laughing and when I squinted, I could almost make out their fingers touching.

The third was damn near disastrous because they both appeared to be sleeping with her head on his shoulder. Seeing that had such a physical effect on me to the point that I thought I was having heartburn.

The light over Ryan's head was on so this time, I didn't have to get up close to see that while he was reading something, Holly was asleep, but this time, instead of seeing a mass of straight red hair hanging over his shoulder, her head against the window. I immediately felt my mood brighten as I passed by them.

"Hey," I heard the moment I felt someone touch me. I looked down to see Ryan's worried eyes staring up at me. "Are you okay?"

I bent down and nodded. "Why?"

"Because I keep seeing you going to the restroom. Is everything okay?"

I put my hand on my tummy and rubbed it. "I don't know what I ate but I'm sure I'll be okay soon."

He caressed my hand with his finger then looked upwards. "I only have ibuprofen but it's in my hand luggage up there. Do you want me to get some for you?"

I couldn't help but feel touched by this. "There's no need. I've already taken some."

A few minutes later, when I was back at my seat, I felt a tap on my shoulder. When I looked up, I saw a flight attendant holding out her hand to me.

"The gentleman back there said you were having some stomach problems so I brought some Pepto Bismol for you."

I took the small sachet of two pills and thanked her. As she left, I glanced back but since it was still dark and Ryan had switched his light off, I couldn't see him. But it felt good to know that even though all I saw was darkness, I knew that he was back there looking out for me. And that kinda, sorta made my heart flutter.