Chapter 26

"Oppa," I said as soon as I answered the phone.

"Oh, you answered. Did you just arrive?" my brother said from the other end.

"Yeah." I glanced at my watch. "I think we are about thirty minutes late. Have you been waiting for a while?" I nodded my thank yous to the stewardesses as I followed Ryan off the plane.

"Er… I'll tell you later."

My heartbeats quickened. "Is your father mad?"

"I don't know," he replied in a monotone.

I wasn't feeling too comfortable holding my phone with my left hand so I switched my hang luggage from my right and used that instead. "Am I in trouble?"

"I don't know."

"Is he still mad about the trip?" I hadn't really worried about what was waiting for me at home till about three hours before we were scheduled to land and suddenly, my mind was racing with hundreds of scenarios.

"Yah! You're wasting my daytime minutes," my brother said impatiently.

"But it's Sunday."

"Whatever. Just come and see for yourself," he said before hanging up.

"Is everything okay?" Ryan asked from beside me. We followed the baggage claim sign and went down the escalator.

He was standing a step behind me so I looked up at him. "I think I'm dead."

He rubbed my shoulder reassuringly. "You're probably fine. I bet it won't be as bad as you think."

I'd spent the last thirty minutes of our flight filling him on the weirdness that was my father.

"Like I told you before, he's probably trying hard to reach out to you."

I shrugged and got off the escalator then waited for him so that we could walk in step.

"I don't know what he's doing but he has to be mad about the trip, don't you think?" I asked, wishing for him to disagree with me. Other than blaming it on my mother's oversight, was there a way to spin my refusal to inform him of my trip positively?

"I still can't believe you didn't tell him. Do you want me to come over and protect you?" he said, pumping up his chest like some macho man. I ignored him and walked into baggage claim with my heart still heavy. Just as I was trying to figure out which of the carousels was ours, I spotted my brother standing next to my father.

I quickly said my goodbyes to Ryan then walked over to them. I tried to read my father's mood but was coming up blank and as I got closer to them, began to drag my feet.

"Su Jin ah," my father said, wrapping his arms around me. I looked over his shoulder at my laughing brother in confusion. I couldn't think of a time he'd been so enthusiastic to see me. "I missed you, my dear daughter. How was your trip?" he asked, letting go of me.

I stood back and studied his face. Was this the kiss before the punch? "My trip was fine. Where's Umma?"

The smile on his face disappeared momentarily before returning just as quickly. "She's decided to extend her stay a bit. She should be returning in a few weeks."

"I see." I didn't know what to say to that and even though I was surprised, I really shouldn't have been, considering the way my parents had been in the last few weeks.

"So," my father said, hugging me again. Even though he wasn't that much taller than I was, he was wider and having him hug me so much felt very strange. Hugging him back would have felt even stranger so I didn't.

My father looked up at the screen above the carousel we were standing in front of. "I don't think this is for your flight…. Oh," he said, pointing at one at the other side, "United 210? Su Jin, let's go there." He picked up my hand luggage and led the way.

I hung back to talk to my brother. "Did you get in trouble for not telling him about my trip? Has he said anything?" When I called my brother to inform him that I'd arrived safely in Los Angeles, there hadn't been any development in that arena but I figured that in 5 days, my father must have said something.

He shook his head. "I thought he would have but nothing. I think Umma's call might have mellowed him down or something."

I raised my brow. That didn't make sense. "She's not going to be here for Christmas?"

He shook his head.

I sighed. "That sucks. I'm going to spend my holidays in Hell."

"Au contraire, my sister. I've been going out every night and he's cool with it."

"No way. Are you serious?" It was truly shocking as my father ignored that my brother was a college student and even though he had far more freedom than I did, he still didn't live like a regular American 18 year old. "But I'm sure it's going to be different with me," I grumbled.

My brother shrugged. "You can't be to—"

"Hey kids," my father's yelled, interrupting my brother. Instead of reprimanding us for standing back, he cheerfully waved for us to join him. "Come here so we don't miss your bag, Su Jin."

I looked at my brother. Was it possible that my father had had a lobotomy?



***



Sue Jean Oh: You're making me hungry.

Missing My Soul: Haha. Well, too bad. Maybe next year, Umma will cook for you too.



Since I wanted to somehow celebrate Christmas with Min Ki, I'd woken up early to chat with him. For some reason, we were no longer speaking as much as we used to and when I realized that I hadn't even called or emailed him while I was in Los Angeles, I knew that I had to make more of an effort to keep in touch.



Sue Jean Oh: I wonder what my mom is doing now. She'll probably call soon or maybe my father will call her.

Missing My Soul: Are you sure you don't want me to check up on her?



The last time I spoke to my mother, she'd told us that she was staying at our home, sorting some things out with her clinic and some other things she didn't really get into. She'd been a little vague about her reasons for staying in Seoul longer so I'd begun to feel quite uneasy about the whole thing. It was our first Christmas apart and I really missed her presence.



Sue Jean Oh: Don't worry. I am sure she's fine.

I heard a knock at my door. "Come in," I yelled.

Sue Jean Oh: Oppa, hold up. Someone is at my door.



My brother walked in with a wrapped gift in his hand.

"Yay." I clapped. I moved my laptop aside and got off my bed. "Oppa, you didn't have to," I said, standing up.

"I didn't," he replied before handing the gift to me.

I took the somewhat heavy box and looked at him inquisitively. "This isn't from you?"

He shook his head. "It's from that guy you're always hanging out with."

"Ryan?"

"Whatever his name is. He caught me like two weeks ago when I came to pick you up and told me not to give it to you till today."

"Really?" My heart warmed even further as I shook the box, trying to guess what it was. "I wonder what he got me."

My brother looked over at my computer. "Are you chatting with Min Ki?"

I nodded, still shaking the box around.

"And you're standing here so happy about some gift from another guy?" he said rather spitefully.

I frowned. Why was this guy trying to stomp on my joy? "What are you trying to say?"

"Don't play dumb. Anyway, what's in the box?"

I hid it behind me and held the door open for him. "None of your business. Thanks for bringing it, though," I said, smiling again. I always loved receiving presents and this was no exception.

As soon as I shut the door behind him, I attacked the box and unwrapped it. In it were about ten or so CDs stacked up and tied in the bow. Even without untying it, I could already see my image on the CD jacket. But not just my image but the image. The one from that special scene in the movie where our song begun to play. The background was black which make my face pop out even more.

Underneath the stack was a sheet of paper from the Copyright Office in Washington, DC.

I put my hand on my chest to steady myself then sank to my bed. It was in fact what I thought it was. I impatiently removed the bow and picked up one of the CDs and tried to calm myself as I read, "You and me by Su Jin Oh," written at the bottom right corner of it.

I turned over the very professional looking case and according to the contents, there were three versions on it: the original, the instrumental and the remix.

I fell on my bed --back first-- while holding onto the CD in my hand as I stared at myself looking more beautiful than I did on screen. In the grand scheme of things, one might not consider it an amazing present but as my eyes teared up, all I could think of was that even though I hadn't realized it before, it was exactly what I had wanted for Christmas.





***



"Hey," I said as I approached Ali and a bunch of people I didn't know. My brother had been right about my father's craziness extending to me because when I decided to try my luck to see if he'd allow me to spend some evenings away from home, after getting the details of my whereabouts, he let me do as I pleased. He even extended the curfew I'd had in Seoul so I was now allowed to stay out till 10:30pm. I did later regret not testing my luck even further by asking if I could stay out till midnight, but at the time, I'd been so surprised that I was beyond over the moon about it.

"Go and get your bowling shoes," Ali said from James' lap.

I shook my head. "I'm not going to bowl - I really suck at it. I'm just going to watch." Besides, how much fun would it be to embarrass myself in front of a bunch of strangers?

"Ryan," Ali called, looking behind her. I followed her eyes and saw that he was sitting with what I assumed was the other team. "She says she's not going to bowl."

Standing up, he waved his greeting to me. Then he turned to her. "So why are you telling me this?"

"Just make her bowl, okay? You need an extra person on your team and she's all your getting."

He shook his head. "Oh, so we get stuck with the person who obviously doesn't want to play?" Then he frowned and walked over to me. "And as for you, let's get you some shoes."

***

I watched in anticipation as the bowling ball went down the lane. "Yay!" I screamed. For the first time in 5 bowls, I hadn't made a gutter ball. It felt pretty cool to see those three pins falls shortly after the ball hit them.

I spun around and did a little jig. I pointed at Ryan. "I bet you're so happy I'm on your team," I said laughing. Even though it was embarrassing to be so bad at the game, it was hilarious to see Ryan get more and more frustrated as I kept getting gutter balls.

For some reason, his annoyed face tickled me to no end so I'd begun to enjoy pissing him off.

I picked up the smallest bowling ball and stuck my fingers in the holes. I lifted it up and down a few times then released it on the lane. "I can't look!" I turned around dramatically. "Someone should tell me if I hit anything," I said, listening to the sound of the heavy ball rolling down the wooden lane.

"Hey, you hit two pins," a male voice said from behind me.

I turned around to see James smiling at me. Even though he and Ali were dating, we barely spoke as we really didn't have that much to say to each other. "Oh, cool."

As I walked back to my team's bench, he followed me. Curious, I walked slowly as I waited to see what would happen next. He watched me sit down then sat next to me.

"My friend thinks you're cute," he said, pointing at a guy with a short crop sitting at the edge of the opposite bench. The guy looked at me and smiled.

After the second of my gutter balls, he'd been the only person on Ali's team to encourage me every time it was my turn to bowl. He was a little chubby but not distractingly so and from what I'd seen so far, appeared to have a lively personality. In another world, I wouldn't have been offended by his attraction to me.

"Didn't Ali tell you? I have a boyfriend," I whispered to him.

"But she said you're not with the Ryan guy."

Gosh. "Yeah, but my boyfriend is in Korea."

"Oh. Well," he said, stuffing a piece of paper in my hand. "If you're ever free, that's my friend's number. His name is Steven."

A few minutes later, it was my turn once again but unfortunately, this time, I broke my two-bowl streak of non-gutter balls.

Everyone on Ali's team cheered except for Steven who told them to shut up. "Su Jin, why don't you let me teach you?" he said, standing up and walking over. "It's really not that hard."

"It's okay." I smiled at him appreciatively. "Maybe if I prayed a little harder, I'll hit a strike this time," I joked.

"No, all you need is a little lesson," he said, coming closer to me.

"Hey," I heard Ryan say. I turned around to find him walking to us. "Are you trying to sabotage us or something? I can't trust you. Why should someone from the other team try to help us?"

Steven shrugged. "Because none of you were doing it?"

"It's okay," he said, standing between us. "I'll teach her."

Then he turned his back to him and frowned at me. "Are you sucking on purpose?"

"Of course not."

"For real?" he asked skeptically.

I looked at him incredulously. "Yes, for real."

He laughed. "You must be faking it – you can't be this bad."

I sent him a blank look.

"Alright," he said picking up a ball and showing it to me. "You have to hold it this way. It's also good to bend your knees like this."

I mimicked his stance. "Like this?"

"Is this going to take all day?" Ali yelled. "You guys realize that we're in the middle of the game and more importantly, that we're kicking your butts?"

Ryan rolled his eyes. "Ignore her. Where were we?" He looked at the position I was holding then dropped the bowling ball in his hand and walked over to stand behind me. I ignored the sudden change of my entire being and tried to concentrate on the lesson.

Then he aligned his body with mine and held onto my right hand. Then he swung it a few times, showing me the how to swing the ball.

About a minute later, armed with my new tips, I held the ball, bent my knees and swung my arm as he suggested, said a little prayer then released the ball. But a few seconds later, the ball rolled off the lane and into the gutter.

"You're hopeless," Ryan said from behind me and everyone erupted in laughter. Including me.





***



It was a few minutes to ten on a Sunday morning so I led my family into our church and while searching for a pew, saw that Ryan and his family were already there. Luckily, there was no one sitting to the right of him so I decided that three of us could fit in the remaining space.

"Hey," I whispered as soon as I sat next to him. I took my coat off and placed it along with my purse between us then made the sign of the cross. After making sure neither of my brother's or father's feet were in the way, I put down the kneeling stool.

"So what—"

His words were cut short by the look I gave him. "Can't you see that I'm about to pray?" I mouthed. When I was done, I sat back on the bench and hit him with the bulletin to get his attention. "Have you been here long?" I whispered, leaning into him.

He shook his head and whispered back, "No. But why is it so hot in here?" He fanned himself with his copy of the Sunday bulletin. "Shouldn't they be trying to conserve energy?"

"It's not that bad. Maybe you're having hot flashes," I teased.

Just as he was about to respond, the priest arrived and we all rose.

We sat through mass and didn't say anything to each other till right after the priest's homily.

"Did you understand anything he said?" he whispered as we stood up to say The Apostles' Creed.

I shook my head. "I thought it was only me. So you didn't understand what he said either?"

"No. I think he's Russian or something. If only we could read along like we did the readings."

I was about to say something else when my brother elbowed me and gestured for me to shut up.

I tried my best to concentrate on the rest of mass and didn't say anything else to Ryan till the collection basket got to him and I saw him put in two quarters.

I put my dollar into the basket then told the usher to hang on for a minute so I could grab another dollar. I grabbed Ryan's hand, ignoring his look of surprise, stuffed the money into it, then moved his hand to the basket and released the cash in it.

"What was that about?" he said as he watched usher move the basket away.

"You want to go to hell for being stingy?" I whispered. "Fifty cents? Can you see anyone else giving only coins? Instead of thanking me, you're looking at me like that. Just look ahead and pray. Dumbass trying to go to hell for being a cheapskate. I can't believe you were only going to give 50 cents," I hissed.

He kept looking at me strangely before turning his attention back to the altar.

"Damn all these beautiful girls they only wanna do you dirt," Ryan began to sing about twenty minutes later as we walked out of the church building after mass ended.

After making sure that my father's attention had been engaged by another churchgoer, I poked his back. "Is that what you should be singing at church?"

He looked around the open space. "I'm not in church."

"It's still the church compound so you should respect it. You should be singing, 'Showers of blessing, showers of blessing we need,'" I sang. I would have continued to sing if I didn't see him struggling to hide his laughter.

I kicked the sand in front of him. "What's funny?"

He turned around and chuckled again.

I put my hands on my waist. What was so funny? I walked around him so we were face to face again. "Yah! What's so funny?"

He pointed at me and laughed. "You're funny. You may not realize this but you sounded like a frog in there." He put his finger in his right ear. "Now I think I'm going deaf."

I rolled my eyes and pretended to yawn, "Tell that to someone who isn't a professional singer. Or have you forgotten who's got her own single?"

"I'm dead serious. You sound good solo but when you sing alone," he looked at me in horror, "it's disaster."

I elbowed him. "No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"Is not."

"Is too."

We probably would have kept on forever if my brother hadn't yelled my name.

"Oppa, we're in church, stop screaming!" I yelled back.

"It's time to go home."

I gave Ryan a quick hug and told him I'd see him later.

When I got to my brother, he watched Ryan walk to his family then turned to me. "I hope you've flirted enough for today."

I rolled my eyes and walked ahead of him. "I wasn't flirting."

"Yes, you were. Su Jin ah," he said, taking me by my upper arm. I stopped walking and turned to look at him. "What?"

He took his hand off me and said, "Have you broken up with Min Ki yet?"

I frowned at him. "Why would I do that?"

"Because you're now with that other guy?" he said nodding in the direction Ryan and I had been standing. "Do you think you're a two-timer now?"

I hissed and started walking again. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm not blind, okay? If you're still with Min Ki, stop whatever is going on with you and this guy."

"Nothing is going on with us – we are just friends."

"Who do you think you're lying to, Su Jin? You'd better be careful before somebody gets hurt."