Chapter 24

"Alright," Mr. Lewis, the physics teacher and our male chaperone said. He clapped his hands to get our attention. "Pick a partner."

It turned out that our trip wasn't merely a visit but also a retreat so it meant that we got to do supposedly fun exercises.

I looked over at Ali but considering she only remembered me when we were in our room, I knew she'd be flirting with James. I looked around the room to find another partner but my eyes fell on Holly laughing and holding Ryan as she led him to a corner of the room. I felt my breathing become heavier and even though I tried to look away, I couldn't keep my eyes off their linked hands.

"You look lonely," someone whispered in my ear.

I turned around to see Jonathan looking at me questioningly. I smiled back but once again, my eyes involuntarily traveled back to those linked hands.

"It looks like you've been ditched," he said.

I nodded and was about to make a comment about Ryan when I noticed that he was looking at someone else. I followed his eyes and saw Ali and James grinning at each other. I turned back to him and studied his face. The guy really didn't look too happy with that scene. Did he still have a thing for her?

As if he suddenly remembered that I was alive, he turned to me. He stretched his palm out. "Be my partner?"



***

"Okay, you're approaching some steps," Jonathan said.

I raised my foot. "Now?"

"No, not yet. You still have a few steps before you get there. I was just warning you."

We were doing a trust building exercise so I was blindfolded and Jonathan was supposed to only verbally instruct me so I could safely walk around the hotel's backyard. The hotel, or lodge as they called it, was pretty small so we were the only residents. It was pretty awesome because it almost felt like I was in a dorm.

"So, Jonathan," I said as I took careful steps. "I really don't know much about you. How many kids in your family?"

"Six."

"Six!" I yelled just as the middle of my foot landed on a small rock. "Ouch!" I stopped and stretched the foot. "Jonathan, you were supposed to warn me about that!"

He chuckled. "Sorry. Okay, you can start walking again."

"How many boys in your family?" I asked, as I took even more careful steps making sure to use the top of my shoe to feel out the ground before making a full step.

"One boy. Basically, my parents kept having kids, trying to create perfection. So it was only natural that they stopped after having a boy."

I frowned. If I could see him, I'd have slapped him. "You're such a chauvinist."

"Wrong. I've been around women all my life - I love them."

"Really?" I stopped and faced the direction of his voice. I put my fists on my waist. "Do you like me?"

He laughed. "Keep walking. You have about three more steps."

I took one careful step. "So answer my question. Do you like me?"

"Of course."

I stopped again. That wasn't the response I was expecting. "Like me how? The way you like Ali?"

He was quiet for a moment. "Who told you I like Ali? What are you even bringing her up for? But I think you're cool. Like a buddy."

I smiled and kept walking. "Ye-" Before I could finish the word, my foot hit solid cement. I jerked back but luckily, before I could hit the ground, Jonathan caught me. What the hell kind of exercise was this anyway?

"Are you okay?" he asked, still holding on to me.

I tried to stomp on his foot but since I couldn't see, I kept stomping on the ground.

"What are you doing?" he asked after about thirty seconds.

I dug my elbow into him. "You are supposed to be directing me! Why didn't you tell me that I'd arrived at the steps?!?! Do you want me to break my leg?"

He laughed. "Sorry about that. I got distracted by your questions."

"Whatever. Let go off me now. The sooner we're done with this exercise, the sooner we end the torture."

Just as he was releasing me, I felt his hand brush across my right breast. I was shocked then in reflex, grabbed my chest. "What did you just do? Why did you touch me here?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," he said in a childlike voice. "I didn't realize I was touching there – everything is so flat." I could detect a twinge of humor.

"Are you crazy? Do you have manners at all? You can't touch me there!" I reached over to hit him but all I felt was air.


"Sorry."


I knew that I should be mad and rake him across hot coals but for some reason, I only felt the urge to laugh. So I did. He was Jonathan so he was expected to do something like that. I should have known better than to agree to be his partner. But then again, we didn't know it was something that involved blindfolds. So I found it hilarious. I kept laughing and for the next few minutes, every time he tried to direct me up the stairs, I covered my chest and he chuckled. And so did I.


***



"Hey!" Ryan said, tapping my shoulder from behind. I was taking a photograph of a painting and since we were not allowed to use flash in the museum, was taking it in multiple angles to get one that looked halfway decent.

"Hey." Hearing his voice immediately brightened my mood and I found myself smiling. The trip had been quite educational for me and taught me what loneliness really felt like. Who would have thought that both of my friends would pair up and leave me all alone? I aimed the camera and took one more shot.

"So why are you walking all alone?"

I raised an eyebrow. "My friends ditched me so what am I supposed to do? And whenever I try to hang out with other people, I always feel out of the loop. This sucks," I sulked.

I let my camera hang from my wrist and started to walk. Ryan followed suit. I glared at him then kept walking. I felt like I was in an impossible situation. Everyone had the right to pair off so I wasn't mad at them for that but it just sucked that I didn't have the same option because I had a boyfriend but since he was absent, I had no choice but to be all alone. How did that even make sense? And what was the point in having a boyfriend if he couldn't be with me when I needed him most. Stupid sh.it.

"That looks interesting," Ryan said, walking up to some kind of war painting.

I folded my arms and followed him. And what the hell was wrong with him? Since he was my friend and all, I definitely wanted him to find happiness with someone but Holly Levingston? Of all people? And the past few days, they'd been walking around like convicts handcuffed together.

Ryan turned to say something but when he looked at my face, jumped back and shuddered. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"What do you see in Holly Levingston?"

"What?" he asked, stepping further back.

I didn't have time for games. I tilted my head to show him that I wasn't playing around. "What do you see in her? She's not even pretty."

"Who said I saw anything in her?"

I sighed. "Since you got on the plane, you've been following her around like some kind of lapdog and forgotten your true friends. Didn't you promise me that we were going to hang out together? This is already our third day and it's the first time you're really talking to me."

Some kids stared at us as they passed by so I moved over to a corner so as to stay out of everyone's way.

"And so what?" Ryan said, following me. "At least we're hanging out now, right? And what about the past few weeks at school? You think I didn't notice that you were avoiding me and only talked to me when Ali was around? You started treating me like a leper just because I overestimated our relationship. And it wasn't like I didn't apologize."

"Whatever. Like you really have anything to say to me anyway. You obviously prefer talking to someone like Holly."

"Yes, I do. I've only known her for a few days and she's not ashamed to touch me. She doesn't squirm if I hold her hand or act like I'm going to eat her when I come close!"

I narrowed my eyes and tried to send him as many daggers as I could. Why was he exaggerating everything? I shook my head in disgust. "Of course she likes it. Haven't you heard the rumors about her? She has a lot of experience!"

"Oh, so now you're listening to rumors?"

"It's not just a rumor. Ali says it's true!"

"So what? Ali also says the rumor about us is true! And that's obviously a lie. So what does that prove?" he said, his face darkening as he got angrier.

I exhaled. We were not supposed to be fighting. "Look, we are friends and I'm only looking out for you. There are tons of girls you can be with. I'm just telling you that you don't have to waste your time on someone like her."

"And who says I am wasting my time? And thanks for being my friend but just mind your business, okay?"



***

I was halfway towards Dreamland when we heard some rapid knocks at our room door.

"Who's that?" Ali shouted.

"Alison, open the door. It's Jonathan. Open the door."

I opened my sleep-laden eyes and looked at her. "What does he want?"

"I don't know," she mouthed to me.

The clock read 11:37 so it was definitely far too late for social calls. "Jonathan, we're sleeping. Come tomorrow," I shouted.

"No. I need to talk to Ali today," he said, banging the door. And kept banging it.

Seeing that he wasn't going to stop, I put my pajama top over my tank top while Ali put on the hotel robe. She walked over and opened the door. "What do you want?"

He walked in and held the door ajar. "Su Jin, will you mind excusing us?"

I groaned. "I'm really trying to sleep over here. Please come back tomorrow."

"And why should she leave? If you have something to say, say it in front of us."

He ignored her and walked over to me. "Can you please leave?"

I sat up and looked for my slippers. "But where am I to go? The lobby has been closed."

He fished out his room key from his pocket and handed it to me. "Room 225."

I didn't even have the energy to walk over to another floor. "Jonathan," I begged.

"Please."

I shouldn't have looked into those pleading green eyes because as soon as I did, it felt like some force appeared out of nowhere and pushed me out of the room.

Since curiosity had gotten the better off me, I left the door slightly ajar and tried my best to eavesdrop.

"Why do you keep hanging around that guy?" Jonathan roared.

"It's none of your business. You haven't had a say in my life for a long time!"


"And whose fault is that?"

Neither of them said anything but when they started speaking again, their voices were fainter. Out of the words and phrases I managed to pick out, 'kissing Ryan' stood out the most.

Even more interested now, I decided to open the door a bit more but just as I did, a passerby yelled my name and asked if I was locked of out my room. Knowing that I'd been caught, I quickly shut the door and headed for Jonathan's room.



***

I knocked at room 225 and when I didn't hear a response, I turned the key in the hole and opened it. The light was on so I walked in and locked the door behind me.

I walked further in and just as I sat at the desk, the bathroom door flung open and Ryan walked out in nothing but his towel wrapped around his waist.

He wasn't completely dry so there were droplets of water on his chest and I stared at it in shock.

He too looked surprised to see me but he quickly changed his expression to one of disinterest. "What are you doing here?" he asked, walking further into the room.

"Er… Jonathan is in my room so I was kicked out."

"Jonathan is in your room? With Ali?" he said, turning to the door before stopping then slowly turning back around. He looked at me then shrugged. "I'm staying out of it. Ali can take care of herself."

My eyes followed his chest as he walked towards the closet. He didn't have a six pack but I could count at least four. As far as I knew, he wasn't particularly athletic so I was surprised that his body was even that toned.

He flung a smaller towel over his shoulder. "What are you staring at? Never seen a guy's chest before?"

His comment made me blush so I shut my eyes and looked away. "Yes, I have. But since I'm here, shouldn't you get dressed in the bathroom?"

"It's my room so I can do whatever I want." Then he suddenly burst out laughing. "Okay, I'll take my pajamas to the bathroom so you can open your eyes when you hear the door shut."

About two minutes later, he walked out wearing a pair of blue pajamas. "I'm going to bed soon."

I asked him to point at Jonathan's bed so that I could lie on it. Seeing his chest had woken me up a bit but I was still very sleepy. When he pointed it out, I cleared it and lay on the covers then watched him prepare his bed for sleep. "How come you're sharing a room with Jonathan? Didn't you guys get to choose your roommates?"

He shook his head. "Mr. Lewis thinks he's a comedian so he paired us up."

"That sucks," I said as I turned over. "Okay, good night."

About five minutes later, since the light had yet to be turned off, I rolled over to face Ryan. "What are you reading?"

He looked up at me. "The Bible."

"Really?"

He grinned and shook his head. "Just kidding. It's a Grisham novel Holly lent to me on the plane. I want to finish it before we return."

"Oh," I mouthed before turning back over. How many more times was I going to hear that stupid name? A few minutes later, with my back to him, I said, "Ryan…" I could feel my eyelids getting heavier and heavier and I barely had energy to speak but I wanted to clear the air when I had a chance. When I compared how I reacted to his kiss to how I reacted to Jonathan touching my breast, I definitely knew that there was something wrong with me. And till I figured it out and fixed it, I didn't want it to interfere with our friendship.

"Yes?"

"About today...."

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry about butting into your business. You should be with whomever you want to." Even if she's a slut.

"I know."

I coughed. "And no matter how I act, I really value your friendship."

"Why? Because other than Ali, I am your only friend?" he asked. There wasn't a hint of humor in his voice so I knew he wasn't joking around.

I flinched at the blow. "Not only that but I really enjoy hanging out with you."

"Really?"

"Really. So always make time for me, okay?"

"Okay." I'd expected him to laugh but he didn't. "You sound sleepy."

"I am."

"Do you want me to turn off the light?"

"It's your room so you can do what you want, remember?"

He chuckled. "Then I'll read for ten more minutes before turning it off. Good night."

"Sweet dreams."